← The Unofficial Dog Ownership Handbook

Unofficial rule 01 · Odie & Finn report

The Cheese Tax

If the fridge opens, the dog must be informed. If cheese appears, an inspection is inevitable.

Odie’s ruling

“I heard the wrapper from the other room. This is called professional awareness.”

How the system works

The human quietly approaches the fridge. The dog arrives without making a sound. A respectful stare follows. The human says, “You’ve only just had your dinner.” The inspector remains unconvinced.

Finn would like it recorded that the smallest crumb still counts as a successful collection.

A note for the humans

Cheese is optional, however persuasive the inspector. If your dog tolerates it and it suits their diet, a tiny piece of plain cheese can be an occasional treat. It is rich, so keep portions small and count treats in the day’s food. Avoid varieties with ingredients such as onion or garlic; some dogs are better without dairy altogether. A little of their usual food can be an excellent alternative.

More about feeding and treats →

Share this rule

Know someone with a canine inspector? Pass it on.

Share on Facebook Share on WhatsApp

Or copy this link: https://headandpaws.co.uk/cheese-tax